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Relax, Sugar

I’m calling a halt to my 100 in 100 because it’s making me crazy having to count up how many posts I am behind because I made so many deals with the devil , also known as Wimpy deals as in I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. This is a mouthful and it…

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Bear With Me, It’s Worth It

I once had a brother-in-law who played for the Chicago Bears. The Bears were in the Super Bowl and it was amazing and wonderful even though we are serious Packer fans, oh wait, live in Packer nation and have his and her Green Bay Packer stock certificates filed somewhere around here. If you have a…

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The other night I wrote an essay called Secrets about my mother meeting a boyfriend who was in the hospital recovering from a suicide attempt. This is something that happened a very long time ago, nearly 35 years, but is fresh in my mind for a lot of reasons, even though it seems otherworldly, like it’s an old movie that I just saw again last night. Writing it was one of those occasions when, even though I was typing, I felt like I was writing with a fountain pen, every word being the only one that could possibly have been chosen for the purpose it served. When I was done with the…

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Seven thousand dollars. That’s what I paid today. If I was working at a local McDonald’s, that would represent 42% of my annual pay. Paid in one lump sum. Did I buy a car? A boat? A trip to Europe? Nope. I bought the ability to hear. I bought the simple ability to hear. If I was working at McDonald’s, this would mean that I could mostly hear people when they place their orders, probably hear the boss telling me to wrap the burgers faster, but I still wouldn’t be able to hear folks coming through the drive-thru so don’t even think about handing me that headset. There is still…

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When my boyfriend tried to end his life and ended up in intensive care after surgery to repair five stab wounds to his abdomen, my mother gave him rocks she’d found at the beach and a jade plant she’d bought at the grocery store. She held the rocks in her hand like she was holding a surprise for a small child. He held out his hand, the one without the IV, and she dropped the three rocks on to his palm and he closed his fingers around the rocks like they were fine diamonds that needed hiding from robbers. This was their introduction, their first and only meeting. He didn’t…

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Oh Tinker Bell, Where Are You?

I’m looking at Peter Pan costumes on Amazon tonight. This, after my daughter told me that “anything princess will be infantile or slutty.” The occasion is a blogging conference that I’m attending later this month in Atlanta. The first night features a reception hosted by Disney and from all the back and forth on Facebook…

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A New Line in the Sand

If you love someone and that someone often disappoints you, maybe hurts you, lets you down, wrecks your stuff, or gives you a black eye you can’t explain to your boss, you are often compelled to draw a new line in the sand. This goes for parents who go cold on you, adult children who are addicted or mentally ill, friends whose extreme needs soak up all your energy, and lovers and husbands who compartmentalize their gentle and gentlemanly behavior in small cubes, an occasional sweetness on the tongue, so potent that you will forget what happened before and what will happen next. I’m glad for all the people who…

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The sign didn’t explain that the buyer must help, assist the hen in her labor, wipe her brow, stroke her feathers, catch the egg in one’s hands to place in the carton, one after another, day into night, the sacrifice was extreme.

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I Lost My Nadir in the Laundry

“Do you read Red’s Wrap?” “Yeah, but lately she’s been wearing me out with all the death talk.” “I hear you. I think she skews old.” “No kidding! ‘Dogs I owned 30 years ago, guys I met 30 years ago, clothes I still have that I bought 30 years ago.’ It’s wearing thin.” “Actually, I liked her better when she was doing fashion commentary.” “When was that? It must have been before I was following her. Now it’s all Boo-Hoo Betty, Angst Anna, Hopeless….” “Stop. I get it. I’m sticking with her though. I think she just had some things to work out. You know, like how to be an…

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Staying in the Life Outside

When summer turned to fall, the old man closed the window, not because he was cold, not yet, but because he thought he might be cold soon. And he didn’t want to be found lying dead on the bedroom floor in deep winter with snow heaped around him, the pipes in the house all frozen.…

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