So this morning I knocked on the shower curtain so my husband would peek out and tell me if I looked okay. Heading to a day of big meetings, I wanted a good, “Wow, you look really sharp!” from him. I got this: “You look cute. Very authoritative.”
He’s good at this. Is this a left-handed compliment? A mixed message? Is it possible to look cute and authoritative? Dorothy Hamill was cute. But she lacked authority. I don’t know. It’s been a long day and my neck aches.
“Your book can be read in one sitting,” he said to me yesterday. “The cover looks like a bin of mushrooms at Whole Foods.”
You need to tell me what I want to hear, mister. You need to tell me that it’s a great first effort, that it looks terrific and will sell a million copies. He just looked at me until I remembered we have this little pact not to lie to each other.
“But do you at least like it?” I asked. “Sure,” he said.
“Well, so what do you like about it?” I asked, trying to get the tiniest drop of blood out of my rock.
“That it’s yours.”
Available on CreateSpace today and Amazon in a few days: Mother Mining, a compilation of essays about having a mother, being a mother, and watching a grown child become a mother.