Q: Why didn’t you sleep last night?
A: I don’t have a reason. It just occurred.
Q: What was bothering you?
A: Why does something have to be bothering me? Maybe I woke up just so I could think hard about who Mitt Romney’s running mate was in 2012.
Q: Why not just Google it and then you could’ve gone back to sleep?
A: Because I would have had to look at my phone in the dark, because the light from the phone would have hurt my eyes, because I didn’t want my husband waking up and thinking I was on Facebook at 3:00 in the morning, because I wasn’t 100% sure that Mitt Romney actually ran for President in 2012 or if it was his father George and it seemed like I should settle that in my brain before going further with any investigation, because it was a test of my extraordinary political knowledge which I was failing so it was keeping my awake. A circular situation.
Q: Not a lot of people lie awake nights worrying about who was Mitt Romney’s running mate. There had to be something else bothering you. What was it?
A: Having twins.
Q: Having twins? Seriously? At your age? Oh my, no wonder you couldn’t sleep!
A: Oh for Chrissakes. Not having twins. Having twins visit. Two-year old twins. My grandsons. Boys. That’s not supposed to make a difference, you know, gender neutrality and all, but it does. Cover your ears. Boys will make a sock into a stick they can hit valuable things with, like people and your best wine glasses. And they catapult themselves everywhere. Everything’s an explosion with them. And they only like things that rattle or click or buzz. I fixed that though. I washed all the toys with batteries. Submerged them. No noise for Nana.
Q: You’re sounding a little wicked right now.
A: It’s fatigue talking.
Q: So that’s it? Mitt Romney and twins?
A: No, I also thought a lot about whether Orange is the New Black is done for. I miss Vee. Now, the show seems too jokey. I also thought about my husband’s torn Achilles tendon and wondered if he would ever go on a long hike with me again. That made me pretty sad so I went on to thinking about backing cars into parking spots. When that kind of thinking happens, you know you’re about to fall asleep again. Nonsense thoughts or non-Romney thoughts, the harbingers of sleep.
Q: You know you wrote this whole post about being awake in the middle of the night. Who do you think even cares if you were awake and couldn’t sleep?
A: Beats me, Sugar. I was just sitting here minding my own business until you showed up with your list of questions. As if I was the only soul awake last night, like there weren’t little iPhone lights gleaming all over North America, like people weren’t Googling chicken recipes to use the leftover coconut milk in the refrigerator or hunting down their now-ancient prom date on Ancestry.com. There’s a whole community of us, dear heart. We just lay low and wait for morning.
Q: Anything else you want to add? Any last words for your audience?
A: Those are my last words. Or maybe, these are them.
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Groupthink.”