Red's Wrap
Happiness. It's relative.
Minnie and BowWow’s First Road Trip in the New Truck
BowWow: Jesus H. I feel like I’m riding in a semi, here. A big nut size Bulldog. Hey, smart guy in front, what’s our handle, see any Smokies up there? Give us the word, Good Buddy.
Minnie: Don’t bother him. He’s trying to drive safely in the rain.
BowWow: Yeah, well, they’re up there with their big seats and their console and their coffee and all their shit plugged in. It’s like they put two La-Z-Boys in a giant box with a steering wheel. Meanwhile, we’re back here on this fucking bench.
Minnie: At least we’re not in the back. You know. Where they put the cargo.
BowWow: Cargo? Cargo? What cargo? You can’t really think he bought this truck to haul cargo. Good Lord, Minnie, how much of a sap can you be?
Minnie: Well, she’s doing that Time of the Month Club thing now. You know. Getting those things for homeless women.
BowWow: Oh, okay, I get it. He bought an F150 to haul Tampax around town. What a prince of a guy. Minnie, wait right here while I figure out how to roll the window down and fling myself on to the highway. Where’s a fucking bus when you need one? Hit me with a bus, for God’s sake. Cargo.
Minnie: You need to calm down. Stop being so dramatic. So incendiary. They’re going to start thinking we’re unhappy back here.
BowWow: We ARE unhappy back here.
Minnie: No, they’ll think we’re unhappy and they’ll stop asking us to come along. They’ll just assume we’d rather stay in the kennel.
BowWow: Yeah. Doggy prison. It’s lookin’ good right now. Like a big Va-cay. Dog treats. Romping with the opposites. Beats this rolling nightmare of rain and classical music. Endlessfuckingness. We don’t even know where the fuck we’re going.
Minnie: Just trust them, BowWow. That’s what I do. And it always turns out nice.
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Snow Door | wisconsinacademy.org
Listen to Jan read her essay “Billy” presented on WUWM’s Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “At the Breakfast Bar” on WUWM Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “The Parish Hall,” on WUWM Lake Effect
“Fury Cannot Touch Me,” Modern Love, NYT, 9/29/11
So so funny ! How doew Minnie put up with im ?
Hil-effin’-arious!
Reblogged this on Red's Wrap.
That Bow-Wow has got some attitude eh? Congrats on the new truck, you do need it for those Tampax drives! I always thought that the bench seat felt like traveling from my sofa, comfy and relaxed.
Hilarious!
BowWow certainly has a mouth!!! 😁
How does Winnie put up with it?? LOL