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BowWow: This bow makes me look really stupid.

Minnie: I think it’s very becoming. It’s nice to get a bath and a haircut and then have a little bow or something to pretty things up.

BowWow: Pretty things up? I’m a DOG. The haircut they gave me makes me look like a stuffed animal. Pisses me off. Every time I come home looking like part of somebody’s Easter basket. I wish they had more manly cuts. You know, like a fade.

Minnie: A fade? You want the groomer lady to give you a fade? Maybe she could shave BW on each side right behind your little teeny ears.

BowWow: Don’t mock me. Help me get this bow off.

Minnie: No.

BowWow: Well, how the fuck am I going to get it off myself? I don’t have hands, remember? And it’s too close to bite. But you aren’t.

Minnie: I don’t respond well to threatening talk. What is it with males that you all have to be so bellicose?

BowWow: Belliclose? I’m not that close to you. And besides she’s got us crammed into one seat. I’m like hanging on the fucking edge here. Belliclose. Fuck that.

Minnie: Oh good grief. BelliCOSE. Like Donald Trump. Yelling about things, threatening to send people to Mexico, promising to bomb countries on Day One. Bellicose. You’re a great friend, BowWow, but sometimes I wish you were a bit more sophisticated.

BowWow: Do you mind if I lick your collar for a while?

Minnie: Yes! I do mind. Just keep your creepy tongue to yourself. Looks to me like you’ve got a lot of nice shaved parts to check out. Why don’t you go ahead and do that and I’ll tell you when we’re almost home.

BowWow: I get out first. Remember that. I’m first. Me first. The guy’s first. That’s the deal.

Minnie: No problem, BW.   I would have to step over you anyway.