BowWow: I’m tired of this life. It’s not fulfilling. I want to be a sled dog.
Minnie: You can’t be a sled dog. That’s crazy.
BowWow: You’re always trying to hold me back, Minnie, keep me from greatness.
Minnie: There’s teamwork involved. That would eliminate you right away.
BowWow: What the fuck! I’m a great team player. There’s no I in TEAM and all that shit. I get it.
Minnie: Well, there’s also the size problem.
BowWow: Minnie, you know size doesn’t matter. It’s embarrassing that you’re even bringing it up. Jesus H. You’re usually so delicate about those things. I’m embarrassed for you. Size. Jesus H. Unbelievable.
Minnie: Not that size, BowWow. For heaven’s sake. Your overall size, your total size. You are too small to be a sled dog. Too short. Too little. Sled dogs are a lot bigger than you. But there’s also the matter of sleeping on straw.
BowWow: What? I can sleep on straw. Straw would be great, comfy, toasty warm. I love straw. Give me straw any day and I’ll sleep on it. Straw’s dope.
Minnie: Straw’s dope? Last night you slept on a big dog pillow and the lady covered you up with a blanket with a lighthouse on it. She even tucked in the edges. That looked pretty dope to me. I was lying on the floor at the time.
BowWow: And that says what about who?
Minnie: There’s also the issue of presence. Sled dogs have a certain cachet. They’re majestic. Handsome. Regal. I don’t think you have that, BowWow.
BowWow: Whoa, baby! We got a little groupie here. Minnie’s a little sled dog groupie. Oh for Chrissake. No wonder you’re running around all breathless and panting.
Minnie: You’re the one who wants to be a sled dog. I just want to look at them. What does that say about who?