Minnie and BowWow: BowWow Feels the Bern


BowWow: I’m feelin’ the Bern, Minnie. You need to get with it.

Minnie: No thanks. I don’t think dogs have any place in politics.

BowWow: You serious? That’s all there is in politics. Dogs. Small dogs. Big dogs. Yippy dogs. Sleeping dogs. Though they lie and that’s not good.

Minnie: Sleeping dogs don’t lie, BowWow. They lie. Or as you would say, “let sleeping dogs lay.”

BowWow: Whatever. Bernie’s gonna make everything right. Number one, he’s gonna deal with universal vet care so I can get that $2,000 surgery on my leg instead of limping around taking stupid baby aspirin. As if. You know? I deserve better.

Minnie: Okay. Well, there’s the small matter of who pays the bill for your big hip surgery. I heard on Paws 360 that it could cost billions to pay for vet care for all the dogs in the country. And then there’s the cats. Nobody’s talking about the cats.

BowWow: Screw the cats.

Minnie: So much for solidarity in the pet world.

BowWow: You start worrying about cats, then you got hamsters and parakeets and those stupid goldfish that die in 20 minutes. That would be a situation that would be ‘too big to fail’ if you know what I mean.

Minnie: Wow. You’ve really been soaking it up, BowWow. Too big to fail. Okay.

BowWow: I’m also really hacked off about foreign trade.

Minnie: How so? What is it about foreign trade that makes you feel ‘hacked off,’ whatever awful thing that might mean?

BowWow: Things not being equal-schmequal. You know, you get a Milk Bone. I get a Milk Bone. It’s equal-schmequal.

Minnie: Well, you should actually only get two-thirds of a Milk Bone because you’re smaller than me. That would be fairer, you know, each according to his need.

BowWow: That’s communism!

Minnie: You know there is another candidate to consider.

BowWow: You mean her?

Minnie: Her? Yes. Hillary Clinton, the former Secretary of State. She’s nice. I think she even has a dog.

BowWow: You mean Bill?

Minnie: No. Not Bill. I mean an actual dog. I heard she had a really nice dog, not one of those accessory dogs, a meaningful dog, you know, like me.

BowWow: I don’t care. Hillary’s too frou-frou for me.

Minnie: Oh, this is rich. Of course, you would be considered by many to be a frou-frou creature yourself, especially with that hat on. So how does Hillary fall in that category?

BowWow: I don’t like those giant beads, especially the yellow ones. They look like canary eggs. Who could vote for a canary-egg wearing person?

Minnie: Isn’t that kind of a flimsy reason not to vote for someone?

BowWow: Not in my book. Tells me she has a heavy neck. You can’t trust a person with a heavy neck. Don’t you know that?

Minnie: Okay. Well, something to consider, I guess. Do you need help getting that hat off or should I bark for the people?


One Comment on “Minnie and BowWow: BowWow Feels the Bern

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