BowWow: Did you hear that? The man called me Donald J. BowWow.
Minnie: Oh really? Why do you think he’d do that. He’s ordinarily so careful about your feelings.
BowWow: I have no fucking idea. Just trying to polarize things, I think. Turn you and me against each other.
Minnie: Maybe he heard you barking at me while I was sleeping on the dog pillow.
BowWow: Yeah. So what?. Dogs bark at dogs. It’s what we do. Woof!
Minnie: Well, I’ve noticed over the years that whenever I’m someplace really comfortable, you want me to move so you can have it. So you stand there and bark until I get fed up and move.
BowWow: Get out of town! I do that? Well, did you ever think that maybe I deserve the comfy spot? I’m an older dog. I’ve worked hard all these years. I should get the big pillow. You can go over to the girl pillow.
Minnie: The girl pillow? The girl pillow. Okay. Whatever. What did you think of the debate? Don’t you think Hillary was swell? She’s such a nice lady. I bet she takes great care of her dogs. Or has someone do that. You know. She’s so busy campaigning and all. I love her.
BowWow: Oh Jesus. You would. I heard on talk radio that her dogs are all really fat and she doesn’t do a damn thing about it. Just lets them pile on the old pounds. It’s disgusting. Fat pigs.
Minnie: I heard the other guy, the one with the yellow hair hat, I heard he doesn’t like fat things like people. He called that girl with the crown Miss Piggy. That wasn’t nice.
BowWow: Forget about that. Nobody cares. Stupid shit anyway. So when do we vote?
Minnie: Dogs can’t vote, BowWow. You have to be a person to vote.
Bowwow: What the fuck! I have ID. The first lady who had me gave the papers to this lady. It’s all fair and square, totally legit as we say in the voter registration world.
Minnie: Oh my goodness, BowWow! You can’t use the papers from the puppy mill to vote in a Presidential election. You have to be an actual person with ID.
BowWow: That, my friend, is exactly what’s wrong with this fucking country. Too much stupid regulation. And nobody looking out for the little guy. Dogs could vote if America was great again. With proper ID, of course. Not just, you know, running into the place where they do that voting thing. Wherever that is. Where is that? Have we been there?
Minnie: You’re rambling, BowWow. Why don’t you go nap on the big pillow for a while?