Her: I thought you were out of gas.
Me: I was never out of gas. I just decided to park it for a while. Contemplate the future.
Her: Sounds like retirement to me.
Me: Well, people do retire. I’d say most people my age are retired.
Her: So retire then! You bought that knitting kit. Time to rev up those needles, sugar.
Me: Knitting is too hard. I’d rather work. Besides people who knit don’t wear heels.
Her: You’re making a life decision on whether you can wear heels with it?
Me: Not exactly. Sort of.
Her: I thought you were all cool with wearing jeans everyday. I thought you were loving your big thick socks and your boots. Little Miss Shit Kicker. Tough old broad.
Me: Don’t mock. I’m trying to find myself.
Her: Oh Jesus. You’ve been lost and found 10,000 times. Just go with who you are right this minute. Take a picture so you don’t forget.
Me: Pull the car over and take a picture of myself? That’s so dorky.
Her: Just do it. Just fucking do it. And smile like you’re wearing red heels.