Red's Wrap
Happiness. It's relative.
Good Luck to Me
I’m wondering if it’s a mistake that my husband’s my best friend.
I see that in obituaries all the time. The surviving spouse talking about how he or she lost their best friend and I think isn’t it enough that you lost your spouse? You should also lose your best friend at the same time? It makes me think I should be more intentional about diversifying.
I do have two women friends to whom I never lie which is, I think, the bottom line in women’s friendships. These are the people I tell that I hate my children, when I do, and they don’t flinch or scold. They nod and keep eating. They also don’t point out the contradiction when next I wax on about each of my lovely children’s successes and fine attributes. They always clear the dishes without being asked.
But I’m concerned about this husband as best friend thing. I think I’m setting myself up for tragedy. For grief of gargantuan proportions. Bottomlessness. So part of me thinks I should start standing back now, join a bowling league, investigate meet-ups, strip off some of the Velcro that stitches us together and has made us twins all these many years. Not get any deeper into this thing than I am already after 34 years. But that seems crass and unfeeling. I shouldn’t question swimming into the deepest ocean holding the hand of a single person and having no life preserver. After all, it’s what people do.
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Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash
9 Comments on “Good Luck to Me”
Leave a Reply to dorisrussell2001 Cancel reply
Listen to Jan read her essay “Billy” presented on WUWM’s Lake Effect.
Jan’s essay “At the Breakfast Bar” on WUWM Lake Effect
“Fury Cannot Touch Me,” Modern Love, NYT, 9/29/11
Oh he is precious! Hang on tight!
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Well I can tell you there’s no guarantee…I just lost my best friend, and we only lived together without the marriage certificate. And I thought that by staying unmarried I wouldn’t suffer that grief of “gargantuan proportions”. But alas…
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Idon,t think I should make my husband my world. I will let another best friend in.
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I’ve been aware of this situation for some time now in my own marriage. I’m all for diversifying, but I really don’t think it will change anything. When the time comes for either one of us, the loss is going to be of “gargantuan proportions”. XX
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Reblogged this on Praying for Eyebrowz and commented:
I think Jan Wilberg is onto something here.
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Thank you for reblogging. I might have missed this gem.
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Jan Wilberg is one of my favorites!
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This is poetic. And practical. I might have the same problem, now that I think about it.
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i say keep him as your best friend and know that you are lucky )
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