Good Luck to Me

Posted on December 21, 2017 by

9 Comments

I’m wondering if it’s a mistake that my husband’s my best friend.

I see that in obituaries all the time. The surviving spouse talking about how he or she lost their best friend and I think isn’t it enough that you lost your spouse? You should also lose your best friend at the same time? It makes me think I should be more intentional about diversifying.

I do have two women friends to whom I never lie which is, I think, the bottom line in women’s friendships. These are the people I tell that I hate my children, when I do, and they don’t flinch or scold. They nod and keep eating. They also don’t point out the contradiction when next I wax on about each of my lovely children’s successes and fine attributes. They always clear the dishes without being asked.

But I’m concerned about this husband as best friend thing. I think I’m setting myself up for tragedy. For grief of gargantuan proportions. Bottomlessness. So part of me thinks I should start standing back now, join a bowling league, investigate meet-ups, strip off some of the Velcro that stitches us together and has made us twins all these many years. Not get any deeper into this thing than I am already after 34 years. But that seems crass and unfeeling. I shouldn’t question swimming into the deepest ocean holding the hand of a single person and having no life preserver. After all, it’s what people do.

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Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash

 

Category: Aging, MarriageTags: , ,

9 Comments on “Good Luck to Me”

  2. Well I can tell you there’s no guarantee…I just lost my best friend, and we only lived together without the marriage certificate. And I thought that by staying unmarried I wouldn’t suffer that grief of “gargantuan proportions”. But alas…

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  4. I’ve been aware of this situation for some time now in my own marriage. I’m all for diversifying, but I really don’t think it will change anything. When the time comes for either one of us, the loss is going to be of “gargantuan proportions”. XX

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