BowWow: Jesus H. They were gonna do me in at 9:15 this morning. Just like that. After all we’ve been through. Motherfuckers.
Minnie: They’re just trying to do what’s best for you. You’ve been looking pretty sick lately and then this morning you got all perky. So that’s probably why they changed their minds.
BowWow: Bullshit! If the Governor hadn’t called and given me a stay of execution, I’d be in a Ziploc bag at the hound morgue. You know how shitty it is in there with all those other dead dogs?
Minnie: No. And I’m not sure how you would know since you’ve never been dead.
BowWow: I know shit.
Minnie: Yes, of course you do. Maybe you should reframe the situation. Assume the best intentions. They just don’t want you to suffer.
BowWow: Oh brother. They just don’t want to re-up on the insulin and the fancy kibble. Cheapskates. Jesus. They run around all over looking at sled dogs but the dogs at home, we’re just an in-con-veeeeen-ience.
Minnie: Well, you know I’m not going to agree. I think they’re nice to us. So what are you going to do with this reprieve you’ve gotten?
BowWow: I heard them say I’m going to the salon this week. Going to get a haircut and my nails done, maybe a little bit of a massage. You know, a spa day.
Minnie: I thought you were so rough and tough. What’s up with the spa day?
BowWow: Hey. I could go anytime. You know, shit, wake up in the morning and, boom, I’m in the backseat on our way to the eeeee-lec-tric chair. I gotta look good. I’m not going out looking like a scrub.
Minnie: Whenever it happens, it’s been a good life, BowWow. We’ve loved each other a lot.
BowWow: I guess.
Minnie: It’s true, BowWow. The truest thing.