99 New: An Open Letter to My Dear Friend Hillary

Dear Hillary,

I daresay in this age of hyperbole and conjecture that it is entirely possible that someone without your best interests at heart planted the rumor that you are thinking of running again for President in 2020. They might have sown those seeds of your wanting another run just for the fun of seeing all the new trolls and memes emerge, new ones specially crafted just for you, wicked ones, best not to look.

So though it may be a great fiction that you are contemplating a third run for President, I still feel compelled to write. Knowing you as I do, a compatriot of age and temperament, I can say things to you that maybe younger people or people less traveled in the world of hard knocks might say. So here goes.

It’s done. The third time will not be the charm, it will just be the third time, the third time you knock yourself out, spend millions of dollars, put your real life on hold, build unholy alliances, make mistakes, work harder than everyone else, know more than everyone else, and lose. And it won’t be fair. Just like it wasn’t fair the first two times.

It is someone else’s turn.

I don’t say this because you’re old or your politics are bad (although some would argue both are true). It’s because you already lost twice. You smell like defeat. No one will tell you but I will. You reek of it. It’s in your clothes like smoke from a bad date. It smells used and musty like a mistake left to rot on the vine.

Here’s my advice. Take all your old stuff to Goodwill, the pastel pant suits, all of them, and go buy some new jeans. And after you get your new jeans, buy yourself some great boots. And after you get the great boots, find a new way to be great. Don’t go back to the place where you got fucked over. That’s crazy. Go somewhere entirely new – Go West, Young Woman – and claim a new space. Create your own world and be extraordinary there. And free. Be free there.

Trust me, I’m right about this. I see things you can’t see because you’re still crying even though you’re pretending you’re not. Take your wounded feelings and your mad desire for revenge and shitcan them. Go find out what comes next.


Your devoted supporter, Jan.


Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

11 Comments on “99 New: An Open Letter to My Dear Friend Hillary

  1. I think you got it exactly right. Also, I don’t think the party would LET her run, even if she won every primary. I don’t think we’ve ever had a two time lose run a third time.


  2. If you don’t send it, I will. And honestly, it is the absolute height of supportive-ness to tell a friend (or even a friend in one’s mind) when they are considering doing something stupid. Hillary running yet again would be a complete waste of time and further strengthen the discord in this country. We need someone that appeals to both conservative and liberal minds and hearts. I pray we find someone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • But it is – Jan is telling her to use all that she is, all that she has experienced, to find a way to make the world a better place. She is so intelligent and has so much skill it would be wasted to squander it on another defeat – one that is inevitable. Many anti-Trump conservatives are saying they would never vote for Trump if they had it to do over again, but also would never vote for Hillary. Support doesn’t mean you tell the Emperor her new pantsuit is very becoming…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lydia’s. I voted for Hillary and I would again, but I think it would just rip the country apart. The Democrats need someone that the right doesn’t have to stubbornly and grudgingly vote against just to defend an earlier point. We need a candidate to unite the country or the division will get worse and worse.


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