Red's Wrap
Happiness. It's relative.
The Lead-Up
People have birthdays everyday, for heaven’s sake. So no reason to get all intense about it, right? Wrong.
71 is some business.
You try being 71 and come tell me birthdays are mundane, everyone has them, and, oh, age is just a number. 71 is some shit.
Earlier this week, I read in the morning paper about a colleague who had died. He was 82. I went in the shower and did the math. Just 11 years older than me. Just 11. I have shoes that are 11 years old. And they look like new. Time flies. Go figure.
It depressed me mightily, thinking about my dead colleague and my rapidly advancing age. I fell quickly into thinking like a patient with a terminal illness, my days are numbered, I thought, but whose aren’t? Living is a fatal illness when you get right down to it.
My dad died when he was 89. So if I’m my dad’s girl, I might live another 18 years. And I could be tooling around the two lanes just like him in his big Oldsmobile, hitting the hills in the Michigan countryside like Steve McQueen sending his Shelby Mustang flying over the hills of San Francisco. Honest to God, I sat in the passenger seat and heard the bottom of my dad’s car hit the pavement on the way down. He was no piker when it came to driving. All in, the man was, all in.
Growing up, I heard the term “hell bent for leather” a lot. My dad was often hell bent for leather but I hung back. It wasn’t my nature. First of all, you have to be pretty out there to be hell bent. And secondly, there’s a fair amount of risk implied being hell bent for leather and I never liked risk unless the odds fell entirely in my favor which is contrary to the whole notion of risk.
But I’ve changed. I’m not afraid of risk anymore. I don’t know what happened. The only thing different about me is age. A lot of age. A lot of age got me out from behind my safety glasses. And it’s great. I can see better and drive a lot faster.
The definition of “hell bent for leather” uses the term “recklessly determined” which I think is impossibly perfect and beautiful for what I want to be in my remaining minutes or 18 years. Recklessly determined to be healthy, to be strong, to make change, to show up, to drive like a wild woman who scares the passengers.
Tomorrow is my birthday. Here’s to 71. It’s the shit.
10 Comments on “The Lead-Up”
Leave a Reply
Listen to Jan read her essay “Billy” presented on WUWM’s Lake Effect.
Jan’s essay “At the Breakfast Bar” on WUWM Lake Effect
“Fury Cannot Touch Me,” Modern Love, NYT, 9/29/11
Great stuff and not a cliche in sight. I notice that it’s usually a birthday that has us facing up to the fact that we have technically joined the ranks of the old and dealing with it. Let the fun begin!
LikeLike
I just recently turned 77. Marilyn (earlier) gave me some nice “guy” things. (USMC, Baseball clothing). I wore the long sleeve USMC sweater over a shirt the other day and paraded myself through our local supermarket. I got a few “Thank you for your service” compliments and a couple or three Vets chatted me up, sharing service memories. It was very, very nice. 77? If I like gambling, I might’ve played the number.
S/F!
LikeLiked by 2 people
71 is hard because you moved past 70 and now you can’t pretend you are young anymore. But oddly, it gets better. At 72 you feel like you made it! You’re alive and kicking! Be joyful. You are alive and enjoying it. That’s as good as it gets.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Happy 71st birthday to a true hero. I hope you have many, many more years of kicking ass and taking names.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Marilyn is kicking ass — at 71, she’s still got “it”.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Joyeux anniv’ from a 61 year old who already feels the next decade just around the corner!
LikeLiked by 1 person
happy, happy birthday, jan. 71 is going to be your best year yet. I love that saying too, and grew up with my dad saying it –
LikeLiked by 2 people
Happy 71st! It’s not so bad. Could be your 81st.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Happy Birthday!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yay, Jan! Happy birthday! I love your attitude and hope that you have at least 20 more birthdays!
LikeLiked by 1 person