Swirl’s Chewed Things: Zippered

Posted on November 22, 2020 by Jan Wilberg

Hello.

I am Swirl.

I’m a good boy.

A few days ago, I had a problem with some towels.

And then there was a string of cloth napkins. There aren’t many of them left. When I ate the one from the seventies with the poofy flowers, there was a lot of yelling. I guess it was the last one. I didn’t know. But it probably wouldn’t have changed anything.

They give me little dabs of peanut butter and tiny treats in my chew toy. I like that. So I chew it a lot. But the red hoodie was just laying there on the bed and I couldn’t help myself.

I only ate part of it.

I didn’t eat this part. I spit it out. Well, not spit, but got rid of it before it went the whole way.

I thought that was wise. I’m trying to be more discerning.

I left part of the old napkin at the dog park. Well, not exactly. It got picked up and put in a poop bag and then I heard them talk about how it was the same blue they remembered.

It was like reminiscing, I think.

Category: Writing

4 Comments on “Swirl’s Chewed Things: Zippered”

Elizabeth
November 24, 2020

He definitely deserves the descriptor “omnivore.”

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DearMaizie
November 23, 2020

Dear Swirl:

Yes, you are a good boy, or “boi,” as some of those fancy blogs call their pets.

Thank you for telling us about your fabric *table d’hote*. I do worry that you will develop a blocked intestine, which I can promise you is very dangerous, but I’m sure you know what you’re doing by now, you having been in the wild and all. And I also know your people keep a very close eye on you, so I leave it to fate, but please do be careful.

I will tell my Gidget about your napkin preference. She does not care for fabric unless it is a toy for cats and only then if she knows it will upset them.. Her palate is not as discriminating as yours. She prefers plastic or paper.

I can’t say I’m not amazed at the array of items you choose to eat. I have come to think of you as our Intestinal Swirl, as I picture all of those things swirling through your insides like clothes being agitated in a washing machine. You are a peristaltic miracle, my friend.

p.s. Good thing you spit out the zipper. Piquant, but with an definite metallic aftertaste.

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- Jan Wilberg
  November 23, 2020
  
  Oh – you have such insight. It is heart-stopping sometimes, discovering what new, completely random thing he has decided to go after. I was astonished to find the zipper pull laying there all naked on his bed. Good lord. Say hi to Gidget for me.
  
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Becky Ross Michael
November 23, 2020

Oh, my…he’s at it again!?

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