Red's Wrap
Happiness. It's relative.
Pet Ears Friday Round-Up
Hercules the Cat carried a full roll of toilet paper in his teeth from the bathroom to the door of our bedroom. We base this, not on forensic evidence, e.g. comparing his bite marks to, say, a certain dog that lives here, but by actual eyewitness testimony. This was an extra big roll, don’t you know, qualifying this as, yes, a Herculean achievement.
Long ago, I had a cat who was impregnated by a tomcat who got in through the window of our second story flat. She had her kittens on the top shelf of my closet and it took forever to find her and them. I’m not sure we even knew she was pregnant, there was just suddenly a lot of mewing. It was a long time ago but I remember being lousy with kittens for weeks before we found homes for them all, well, all but one.
My daughter had a hamster once that would go into a stupor from how cold it was in my daughter’s bedroom and could only be brought back to life with a heating pad. This didn’t happen all the time, just once in a while. It was magical how quickly the heating pad would revive him. We never really figured out how to heat that part of the house very well but there were no more hamsters to worry about after she left for college.
There are several parakeets buried in our yard. We never got the hang of keeping birds alive. I just remember buying a lot of cuttlebone and adorable little toys with mirrors right right before each bird dropped dead. A dead bird is truly the dashing of dreams. You have to say goodbye to the idea of having a bird on your finger who will give you a kiss on the nose.
I’m mystified by people who don’t have a dog or a cat or some creature that obligates them to do often unpleasant chores and inhibits their ability to travel. My husband told me about his friend who didn’t want a dog or cat because having one would make it hard to travel to which I said, a person is in one place most of the time and travels only occasionally so why wouldn’t one want a cat on one’s lap or a dog curled around his last important chewed thing? Traveling and being fancy free is so overrated.
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Listen to Jan read her essay “Billy” presented on WUWM’s Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “At the Breakfast Bar” on WUWM Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “The Parish Hall,” on WUWM Lake Effect
“Fury Cannot Touch Me,” Modern Love, NYT, 9/29/11
Red's Wrap 
What a lovely tribute to pets.
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Jan… I LOVE reading your takes on life. This one brought back a number of memories of pets with my kids: fish, dog, hamsters, ferrets, a spider monkey. There are stories with each, of course. Also, a parakeet I once had that I named Onan. (Because he “spilled his seed all over the ground.” Genesis 38.8-10) THANK YOU for this great prompt and laugh for today.
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Who has a spider monkey???!!!! Oh my, you really need to write about that.
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Ah… LONG Story. Probably late 1970s. East Appleton High was producing “Inherit the Wind.” My husband, then, was principal. They needed someone to socialize “Darwin” before the play. We had the monkey for about a month. Kids loved it. Moi? Glad to see the play end. Darwin was a star.
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I’m impressed by Hercules new skill. Taking lessons from Swirl, maybe? or else a polite hint that his litter box needs changing?
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