Jan and Bear on Train

For the longest time I wanted to be a mother. It took a while to happen and then I was a mother four times over. I wanted to be a big shot and that also took a long time to happen and only if one defines big shot as someone who occasionally makes important things happen. I’ve done that. Not every day but enough to have a list of proud moments. I’m not in charge of much. Just myself. In my non-blogging life, I’m a community planning consultant. I work on troublesome issues like poverty, mental illness, and homelessness. My work plays huge in my life because so much of it involves social justice and trying to do what’s right. If I have something to be thankful for professionally, it’s that my early career started in a very down and dirty anti-poverty agency. It’s who I am more than anything probably.

Except my family.

So. I have four kids. One was born after a couple of years of intense worry about infertility. After she was born, the infertility became absolute and when my husband and I reached that intersection, we turned toward adoption. Over the course of eight years, we adopted three children from Nicaragua. Raising all four children was both joyous and harrowing. But this is the experience of most parents. I’m not unique. Being someone’s mother is no picnic. Well, it is, but not every day. Some days are nightmares relived for decades.

I also have a long marriage. A second one but the longer one. Thirty-four years. My marriage is an anchor buried in 100 feet of solid rock. And is also endlessly entertaining and often very funny. So I write about it. Who wouldn’t?

I don’t do recipes or advice or constant angst here. I just tell about my life as a person, a mother, a woman who believes in equal rights for everyone on earth, someone who is occasionally funny, a writer who resists the overwrought and the hopeless but sometimes lives in that town. I don’t blog about my day. I blog about what my day meant.

So to sum it up? If I could wear a hat every day, everywhere, I would. I don’t own enough hats. It’s a goal. To own more hats.

And to write on this blog in a beautiful way.