Category: Swirl’s Chewed Things

Swirl’s chewed things: Drawers

Hello. I am Swirl. I am remarkable. Last night, I pulled out a dresser drawer. This is remarkable because I already chewed off the little wooden drawer pull a while ago. So it was hard. There were a lot of things in the drawer.… Continue Reading “Swirl’s chewed things: Drawers”

Swirl’s Chewed Things: The Dead Hat

Hello. I am Swirl. I am a good boy. Yesterday, I killed a hat. It was a hat for the Milwaukee Brewers. They only play in front of cardboard people so it doesn’t matter. Besides, I don’t think the people here are on the… Continue Reading “Swirl’s Chewed Things: The Dead Hat”

Swirl’s Chewed Things: Fruits and Vegetables

Hello. I am Swirl. I am a good boy. The bites out of the carrot and zucchini and the scattered blueberries notwithstanding, I am a good boy. I didn’t eat those things, I just bit them. Well, the carrot, it was more than just… Continue Reading “Swirl’s Chewed Things: Fruits and Vegetables”

Swirl’s Chewed Things: Jewels

Hello. I am Swirl. Yesterday, I chewed jewelry. Well, I didn’t really chew it. I eschewed it actually. Basically, I pulled on the dresser cloth really hard and then everything went flying. All those pictures. The bottles. The containers of the little things. All… Continue Reading “Swirl’s Chewed Things: Jewels”

Swirl’s Chewed Things: Pants

Hello. I am Swirl. I chewed these pants. These aren’t the first pants I’ve chewed. I also chewed a pair of black leggings. Those were ladies pants. These are men’s. Were. After I chew pants, I lay on them. It’s sort of like killing… Continue Reading “Swirl’s Chewed Things: Pants”

Life Today

Fever, sore throat, yes, no World still spinning no worry The dog ate my pants

Swirl’s Chewed Things: Introduction

Hello. I’d like to introduce myself. I am Swirl. I chew things. But please know, I am more than what I chew. The books and towels and dog beds, the blankets and insurance papers and pens, the rugs and curtain rods and wicker baskets,… Continue Reading “Swirl’s Chewed Things: Introduction”

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