Tag: motherhood

Today is the Day We Wash All the Black Bras

I handed my little granddaughter one black bra and told her to put it down the laundry chute. Then called to her, “Hey, take this one, too.” She waited for me to toss it. “Today is the day we wash all the black bras.”… Continue Reading “Today is the Day We Wash All the Black Bras”

Listen to Your Mother – My Version

Shibboleths, sayings, mantras, reflexes – the things our mothers said or say in response to virtually any problem as if they had each been allotted a set of 20 to use in rotation through the days and years of active mothering. These were in… Continue Reading “Listen to Your Mother – My Version”

Right Here Right Now

I’ve spent much of the past two weeks at this place – Mary Birch Hospital for Women and Newborns in San Diego. I come in the morning, buy a lunch coupon, go up to the 4th floor, and hang out with my daughter. I’m… Continue Reading “Right Here Right Now”

Mom Torture

Mom torture n. 1 emotional pain experienced by a woman when her child is in distress 2 a strategy used to weaken a mother’s resolve in regard to her own beliefs and practices 3 a primary cause of sleepless nights See also Tough love… Continue Reading “Mom Torture”

Boy Mom

Do women fall in love with their sons? Oh yes. Unconsciously following the moves of the world’s most ancient playbook, boy moms try to hide it but they can’t. They love their boys, not more than their girls, but in a way that is… Continue Reading “Boy Mom”

Time for Joy

The feminist struggle could be pretty joyless. I became a mother in the thick of it – in 1973. Should I wear a nursing bra or burn it? That was the question. Like every movement that seeks equal rights, recognition, and authenticity, feminism took… Continue Reading “Time for Joy”

The Hooked Rug

This was not what I’d had in mind. My vision was me sitting in a rocker, nursing my beautiful baby, my long hair shielding her little face from the moonlight, Joan Baez singing softly in the background. I thought having a baby would be… Continue Reading “The Hooked Rug”

The First Time She Knocked, I Couldn’t Answer

In much of the world, motherhood is an accident, something that happens to women, not something they choose. The accident that is motherhood then takes over a woman’s physical being, lives off her body, changes her external life, her relationships with others, and her… Continue Reading “The First Time She Knocked, I Couldn’t Answer”

My Tattoo

What’s your tattoo? What do you put on your arm or your shoulder or the top of your foot? What’s the symbol? The one thing that would have such enduring meaning that you wouldn’t mind glancing down at your withered feet to see your… Continue Reading “My Tattoo”

The Gathering

It could get crowded in my dining room with those three other women, the mothers of my adopted children. It made things tight bringing food out and clearing the table, struggling to inch past them, the skinny and stout, all with black hair and… Continue Reading “The Gathering”

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